+89 Losing your virginity at a younger age (teens, such as 14/15/16) doesn't make you any less of a person than someone who saves it for "the one" or for marriage. It doesn't make you immoral, dirty, or a "slut", either. As long as it was safe, and consensual, there is nothing wrong with it. amirite?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

A lot of religions such as Christians find it offensive. Personally, I don't think it should matter and they shouldn't be judged for it.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Well, my belief is that nobody's sex life, that isn't your own, is any of your business. And I think it's so crappy when I see people get put down for not being a virgin. I lost mine a few weeks after I turned 14, and I lost several friends immediately after they found out and was called a slut, easy, and a lot of other nasty things because I made a personal decision that had no effect on them whatsoever.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Amen! As long as you make safe, responsible, healthy decisions, you can have as much sex as you want no matter what age you are.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

12 is a little young, though.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

You can try to make it as safe as you want, but it is never 100% guaranteed.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Not having sex isn't 100% safe either. Ask Jesus's mom.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

That was a once in eternity thing. Has that ever happened any other time? One occurrence vs. Thousands of unplanned pregnancies because of failed birth control or condoms.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Someone is a little too serious for the Internet apparently. It was a joke. But anyway, nothing in life is completely safe, so trying to use that argument just because someone talks about safe sex is fallacious.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Actually, I can take a joke. I am not going to apologize for my faith and my morals.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

No one has an issue with your faith and morals. If you think never having sex is the best thing to do, I support your decision and don't think you should be judged for it.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

That's nice, too bad that has nothing to do with anything.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

That's a reason for fertile people to refrain from having heterosexual vaginal sex; but there are plenty of ways to have sex that have 0 risk of pregnancy. Back up your birth control people!

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Nothing ever is 100% guaranteed. It's possible to never have sex ever and still contract an STI from something stupid like unsterilized needles.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I lost mine when I was 14, and since I'm a guy I didn't get ridiculed for it, but my girlfriend at the time sure did. I really don't see why everyone is so fascinated with everyone else's sex life.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

They don't have one of their own, is always what I think. Although it could be untrue, I've noticed it quite relative in many situations! Ahah As Craig Owens (former Chiodos) of D.R.U.G.S. said, "If you had a sex life, would you ever worry about mine?" Haha

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Mentioned Craig Owens. Nice y

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Is there really an organization called D.R.U.G.S?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

No! Ahaha, it's a band. It stands for "Destroy Rebuild Until God Shows". However, it has no religious meaning behind it, only metaphorical. The singer (Craig Owens) had a drug addiction when he was in Chiodos, so they booted him out. While he was recovering he found his own personal "God", or what he found helpful and what he could put his faith in to help him recover. So the name is basically saying, "If you feel like you're ruined and have f***ed up everything, find what makes you happiest until the good shows again." The quote mentioned is taken from a **fake** sex-tape he made to call out all the people who were trying to get into his personal/sex-life. It starts out with him and a girl teasing each other, and looks like it'll end up being a sex scandal but at the end before anything is able to "happen" he says, "If you had a sex life, would you be even worry about mine?" It's actually quite genius in my opinion! Haha

by Anonymous 13 years ago

That is a great quote. I'm going to write it down.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Unless of course they truly are a slut

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Said the whore headed to Hell.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Said the anon with no spine?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I agree with OP (except for the last part) but this made me crack up.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

You're a moron.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I don't hold anything against anyone for it, but I want to wait for marriage just because a. Who knows whether my future spouse wanted me to wait for marriage or not? and b. I wouldn't want my spouse doing it with anyone other than me, even before marriage, to be honest.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

If your future spouse has a problem with you not being a virgin, they're probably not the one for you. A person shouldn't be judged just because they've had sex before.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I agree. I would never marry, date, or probably even be freinds with someone who judged me based on my sexuality and sexual history.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I lost my virginity when i was 14. to a different guy then the one i'm with. however he lost it to me. we been together for 3 and a half years. my point is when you love somebody. you accept there past to. if you're future husband loves you. your past shouldn't bother him...

by Anonymous 11 years ago

I don't want to live on this planet anymore. What happened to innocence? I was still playing with dolls and climbing trees at that age. That's what makes it sad. That you had less time to be a kid. That's all.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

http://amirite.net/694646/1623094

by Anonymous 13 years ago

(iseddrite):I'm pretty sure I wasn't talking about way back when you didn't really have a choice. You only have a short time to be a child. Your whole life to be an adult. It's all I'm saying. It's sad how people rush these things.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

these days, childhood is extended to age 18. I don't like that. I disagree about childhood needing to last a certain amount of time, everyone matures at different times and in different ways, and I'd say teen years are when you're an adult, but you have adults to fall back on when you mess up.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

What a coincidence. After discovering that you exist, I don't want to live on this planet before. You're just another ignorant person who thinks that times have changed when boys and girls, including a lot the ones you knew when you were "innocent", have been been having sex at that age since humanity existed.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I plan on climbing trees as long as I live. As for "what happened to innocence?", I think young teens now have the same sexual desires as they did thousands of years ago. I don't think anything really happened to "innocence". The I don't the whole innocence thing anyway. Why are you no longer innocent when you have sex? You're innocent until you're proven guilty, not until you have sex.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

You played with dolls when you were a teenager?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

You were still playing with dolls when you were 14? I know you weren't having sex, but couldn't you at least have been hanging out with friends or riding your bike or something? Kids used to have to grow up faster. When you were 14 you were still considered a kid, but 100 years ago that was when girls got married and started having kids of their own. Now it only seems like kids are having sex when actually people have been having sex in their teens forever.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Why can't you be climbing trees and having sex at the same age?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I won't judge anyone who does it, but I just think that it's something you should save for the one you know who is worth waiting for.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I'm not sure what you mean by "save".

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Well, Your virginity is something you can never get back after you have sex for the first time. I see that as special and I feel that it shouldn't be wasted at a young age when you've got the rest of your life to find someone worth losing it to.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I'm no expert on the social construct of virginity, but I know there are some people who believe you can get your virginity "back". It's called secondary virginity I think. The idea of virginity is pretty much open for interpretation. If it's not too prying, may I ask why you value virginity so much? I honestly can't understand why people anyone would think it's important. Is it because you value tradition or it's part of your religious teachings or something? Also, what sort of sexual activity do you think makes you "lose" your virginity? Do handjobs, oral sex, or anal sex count? I'm not trying to be rude. I actually want to understand why so many people value this virginity thing. To me, the whole thing seems degrading. I don't want people to measure my worth or morals based on how much sex I have! If you want read up on some modern critics of virginity, you should check out the book "The Purity Myth" by Jessica Valenti. It reads a little like an angry blog post (Valenti is an angry blogger) but it's a really eye-opening book. btw, your sexuality isn't "wasted" when you have sex. That's kind of a judgmental way to look at it.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

you can't take anything back in life. there is no rewind button you can press.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Mostly I agree with what you said. I really don't think people should be vilified for having/enjoying sex. But come on man, at 14/15 you're still a kid. Whether you like it or not you're just a fucking kid. I know it's irritating to hear but it's true. I worked as an RA at a summer camp for teens last summer, and this little girl (14yrs. old) was nonchalantly talking about all the guys she banged and how she didn't want a boyfriend because she just wanted sex and it kind of made me want to cry. It's not like I was thinking "oh you whore" it was more like "oh, you poor kid." I hate how so many kids think having sex makes you "cool" and I just think you guys should make the most of childhood because growing up sucks ass. And though I would applaud someone at that age for being safe about sex, I feel like that's wishful thinking. Our teenage years aren't exactly characterized by having sound judgment and responsible natures. It it really so bad to just wait a couple of years, at least until you're 16 and can legally hold a job? Doctors/babies/abortions all cost money. Sorry if this sounds judgmental, but it's how I feel. :/

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I really don't agree. I'm 16, and there's no way I'd have sex right now. As people have already said, kids this young shouldn't be thinking about having sex. It's just not right, in my opinion. Just wait a few more years until you're more mature/responsible/able to handle the emotional side of having a sex life.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

You're 16, and still a kid? Lucky.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

It's natural to think about it. We have hormones, you know.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

teenagers been having sex since the beginning of time. 100 years ago. girls were expected to be married and have family starting at the age of 14... and being 16 and being a kid still is actually really uncommon these days

by Anonymous 11 years ago

the most important reason to wait, is that often at a young age you don't realise the emotional consequences involved. it obviously doesn't apply to everyone, but i know personally that if i had had sex at 16 even, i would be regretting it now. emotionally, it's a big thing for me, even at 19 going on 20 pretty soon and after being in a steady relationship for nearly 3 years. i always told myself as a (naive) 14 year old that i would wait for marriage, and going back on that promise to myself is pretty tough. easiest is to really push yourself to wait until you have no doubts at all, and you can actually risk an unplanned pregnancy. but what do i know, i'm just a virgin.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Its fine to say that at 14/15 you think that some people are mature enough, but what if its against the law? No one seems to be talking about how in most places its illegal to have sex until your at least 16. So are you saying that it doesn't matter what the law says, as long as you think its right?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

They aren't going to go around arresting every teenager that has sex, or admits to having sex. How many things do you think there are that people do that are against the law but nobody actually cares about? This is one of those things. Plus, half of the world's teens would probably be in jail if anybody actually gave a rat's ass about the age of consent laws for sex. As stated in the post, as long as it is **SAFE** and **CONSENSUAL** there is nothing wrong with it.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Also, the "age of consent" laws are complete and utter bull.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

The law is there for a reason. I personally think that the age is too young the way the law is right now. One of the reasons I think that the law helps if because there's a lot of pressure on young girls as it is to have sex when there a certain age, and it would be much worse if the law wasn't there. Just look at the times when the laws weren't in place; 14 year old girls etc were being married off to old men. Young teen girls aren't emotionally stable, and there's a reason why a young girl having sex with an of-age man is classed as rape.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Who's to determine what age is "too-young"? Everybody matures and develops at different rates, making any law based on "maturity" almost entirely irrelevant. "...there's a lot of pressure on young girls as it is to have sex..." there's pressure around everyone in every aspect, does that mean we should outlaw everything? "...Just look at the times when the laws weren't in place; 14 year old girls etc were being married off to old men..." We aren't in "those times" anymore. And that's a different law from this one. That one's dealing with marriage, and this one is dealing with sex. Two completely different things. "..Young teen girls aren't emotionally stable.." You can't classify ALL teen girls. As stated above, everyone matures and develops at different rates. "...there's a reason why a young girl having sex with an of-age man is classed as rape..." Because it usually IS rape. But if it's consensual and safe, again, there's almost nothing wrong about it. And before you or anyone else uses the example of a teenager and a middle-aged man having sex, how often do you really think that would be? Honestly... Think about.. Not very often. It'd be EXTREMELY rare.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

So out of curiosity, if an 8 year old girl thinks that she's mature enough to have sex with someone, it's alright? You don't think there's maybe a slight chance that she's a little off in regards to how mature she sees herself?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Not saying its impossible but i don't think it is very likely for an 8 year old girl experiencing any urges to explore her sexuality. I say that because most people don't until the age they hit puberty as well as the fact that that age is usually closer to 13. I'm not saying it never happens but i doubt it is a widespread issue so even if the consent laws were nonexistent it wouldn't cause the number of horny 8 year olds to increase. I understand it was just a hypothetical but i believe the maturity argument is based on after children hit puberty, which is when the most bodily maturation occurs and the rate at which the mind does is questioned.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

there are more problems in this country, then what age somebody lost there virginity at.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Yeah, keep on telling yourself that so you don't feel like a slut...

by Anonymous 13 years ago

How exactly does that make me a "slut"? That is one of the ugliest words on the face of Earth, because it's so one-sided and created specifically to shame girls/women. What would you call a guy who had sex at a young age? Fuck you, and your double-standards.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

How do you know that they don't feel that way about both girls and boys? I personally think it's way too young for anyone to have sex at 14/15/16. I would think it was a bit slutty for a girl to have sex at that age, and I would feel the same way about a guy doing the same thing. I just think it's completely meaningless and irresponsible.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I think that how much it means to the person is completely based on the relationship they have with the person they are having sex with. Yes there are people who just fuck around for the hell of it but if someone truly feels they want to be with someone I don't see how it is slutty or irresponsible. When people say teenagers are too young to know what love is i say bullshit because emotions are emotions and are chemical reactions that occur in the body throughout your whole life. Having sex with your boyfriend/girlfriend at 14 if it is a healthy relationship and you aren't being stupid about doesn't seem all that bad to me.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

If you feel safe and ready, and are emotionally stable, go for it. I wouldn't go have sex right now, but that's just me, I'm not that stable right now and it would just fuck me up more. But if you feel like you're doing it for you, not your boyfriend/girlfriend or friends, go ahead, fuck them.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I always feel like these posts are trying to help OP's insecurities of losing it too early or something. Probably not, but there's a lot of posts like this and usually the poster is usually extremely defensive. In my opinion, 14/15/16 is too young for sex. Most people these ages that I know are incredibly immature. These are the girls/guys that are still posting endlessly on facebook about how they love someone they've been going out with for two days. Not every teenager is like that, but a lot of them are. Hell, some adults are like that. And I don't honestly think they're in a position to judge themselves to know if they're ready yet. However, I don't judge anyone who has lost it a younger age. Provided they don't wear it like a badge. When you're going around bragging about how many guys you've slept with; you are going to be labeled an insecure slut who sleeps with people to validate yourself. I'm going on 17 and have no clue when I'm going to lose it, but I imagine not anytime soon. Then again, I don't date either so maybe I'm biased because I can't relate much to struggling to keeping my thighs closed. I don't know.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

there's a reason you should wait for marriage--you don't need to be giving your heart out when you barely understand it yourself, much less an immature boy. Yes, a boy because it's quite possible that their voice hasn't even cracked yet at that age. Even if they seem mature, they aren't yet. They still snicker at 69. When you have sex, it should be with someone who you know will love you forever and isn't going to toss you away after getting it. Which it's quite possible they will because they aren't emotionally stable enough to support a girl. or the baby that might come after it. because even condoms fail sometimes. People don't wait for marriage because they're stiffs or anything it's because when they have sex with the person they do marry, they don't want to have to think about all the people they've/their spouse has slept with already. Guys will never respect girls if they think that they can screw them at any age.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Why is this post directed at girls having sex? Guys can lose their "virginity" too you know. Also, how are gay people supposed to have sex in places where they can't get married?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

My girlfriend and I were going to wait for marriage, but we can't get married, so that was unrealistic. We didn't plan our first time, but it was on our first anniversary. I figured a year would be long enough for her to figure out if she wanted to put up with me forever or not, and she didn't stop me when I started getting her naked.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

You're making guys sound really terrible. SOME guys are extremely disrespectful and rude and immature and won't respect women if they get sex, but that's certainly not all guys. Sex and sexuality should not be looked at as a prize a man gets when he marries a woman, but rather as a thing that two people (man and woman, woman and woman, or man and man) that are in love share that brings them both pleasure. I'm not saying that people shouldn't be responsible and safe when having sex, but I think you're being quite judgmental.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

It always amazes me how worked up people get over the "appropriate" time to lose your virginity. You can't assign an age limit to this. Some 14-year-olds are ready for sex, some 20-year-olds are not. Each case is unique, and you don't know enough about the relationship to be judgmental. In regards to the post, you're a slut if you're a slut. You can be a slut at any age. Just the act of having sex with someone you care enough about to lose your virginity to doesn't make you a slut. There are so many more factors to slutism than that.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Out of curiosity, what does make someone a slut?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Dressing provocatively, sleeping around, bragging to everyone about having sex, things like that

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Not trying to start an argument, just curious about your views. Do you think that dressing provocatively is bad, or that having a lot of sex is bad? When you say sleeping around, do you mean having more than one sexual partner, or cheating?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I mean like, to each their own, but if you dress like a slut then don't be surprised when someone calls you a slut. I don't think it's necessarily bad to do those things, but personally I don't really associate myself with people like that because I'm kind of conservative and our personalities don't mesh. Sleeping around is having multiple partners in a short amount of time, not really cheating because you aren't in a relationship. It's not about the amount of sex you have, but the number of people you have it with.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

And why is there a distinction between having a lot of sex with one partner vs. having a moderate amount of sex with many partners?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Because it implies some sort of commitment. I don't know. I'm not the slut guru.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

You don't have to be a guru to explain your opinions to me, I'm just curious. What if it was explicitly agreed upon with each partner that there would be no romantic commitment?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

actually there's a proven fact, the more somebody talks about having sex, the less likely there getting it.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

If she's old enough to bleed, she's old enough to breed

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I don't really care at what age other people lose their virginity. It's their choice. But I would like to be able to wear white to my wedding and have it bear the significance it originally symbolized.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I though white symbolized purity, not virginity.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Yeah, it symbolizes purity and innocence. And I think some of that is lost when you lose your virginity. I'm not saying they're the same thing, but they're related.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

If I can ever get married I still plan on wearing white. You can wear whatever color you want. Your virginity status won't stop you.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I know, it's just symbolic. I know a lot of people don't look at it that way anymore, and that's fine. I just plan on doing it myself.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

It makes me sad that this is voted down.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Speaking as someone who lost their virginity at a young age like the OP mentions, my resonse to this is two-sided. On one hand, I agree there is nothing really wrong with it, on the other, I do think it's smart to wait for someone really truly special for your first time, and at our age the chances of really having someone you love rather than a gorgeous significant other who you are completely infatuated with is slim. In the end I simply had to vote it down because I have too many friends who rushed to lose it and have regretted it since. I'm half with you though!

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I think they should at least wait till they reach the age of consent. Not because it's what's legal, but because when you reach that age you think things through a little more and are a bit more responsible by then. I know that when I was around 14/15 I wasn't as responsible and I didn't think my actions through as well as I do now that I'm in college. I can say that when I was around that age decision making was always rushed and very short term and as with anyone there are decisions that people make that they regret. Losing my virginity isn't a decision I regret because I still have mine. But I feel bad for people who didn't think it through and just acted out of impulse because of hormones and regret it later. I don't think people around that age are responsible enough for their actions to the point that they take the time to think them through. Sure some people are more responsible than others but if you can't handle the worst case scenario then you shouldn't take the risk. There is more risk to sex than getting pregnant, STDs are something to consider too. Even with safe sex something could always go wrong and 14/15 year olds just can't handle that kind of situation.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

You preach too much. Every post is you preaching, go stand on a soapbox at the beach and go away.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Anyone who said no way should please read the book the purity myth.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

That is the best book ever! I love fucking love Jessica Valenti! Everybody should read The Purity Myth regardless of how they voted.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I talked to a guy who was disappointed that I was a virgin. He told me that no guy wants to have sex with a virgin. That crushed my happy fairy tale world. That's not going to make me go get experience though. It only encourages me to find someone that supports my decision to save it till marriage. I don't mind if my future husband isn't a virgin. I understand that stuff happens. On the topic of 14/15/16 year olds sleeping around, I do think it is wrong. You should only have sex if you are willing to deal with the consequences such as STDs and babies. You should also be able to support a baby and be willing to marry the man who knocks you up if you want to sleep around just for the sake of the baby. Also I dislike when people get knocked up and live off the government. Be responsible for your actions!

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I only feel that a guy would only want a to have sex with a virgin for 2 reasons. they are either a virgin themselves or they are insecure about their sexual performance, and think that they won't be able to pleasure a girl like the men before them.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

That's pretty much what he told me. Sex is better if they know what they are doing according to him.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Hey, if you're ready for sex then you're ready for sex. I lost my virginity at 17 and my girlfriend was 15. We don't regret it one bit. We didn't use protection, but I still think we were pretty safe since we had no STDs and there is no way we could have gotten pregnant. I don't think we were too young and we've only ever been with each other, so I don't think that makes us sluts.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I agree with what you said and everything, I'm just curious as to how there was no way you could have gotten pregnant if you didn't use any protection

by Anonymous 13 years ago

They're lesbians :P

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Ahh, that makes a lot more sense. Alright, thanks

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I'm sorry if this might seem rude, but I've always been curious about this: how does one girl break another girl's virginity? Fingering? Cause isn't that just foreplay?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

It's not rude, it's an honest question. Virginity is both a mental and physical thing. What is sex for some may not "count" for others. I consider sex to be as far as you can go with a person without having to utilize equipment.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I agree with this post a lot. Just because I personally want to wait til I"m married, doesn't mean I think everyone else is going to hell. My reasons for waiting aren't entirely religious, but they are my own. Have sex when ever you won't to, it's not personally affecting me or affecting my happiness.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I lost mine at 16, after being with my boyfriend for five months which may not sound like a long time, I don't know, but I was ready and honestly I would have been ready a little bit earlier even (my boyfriend certainly was) but it took me until then to realise that I don't actually give a fig about what other people think I have yet to regret my decision

by Anonymous 12 years ago

people mature at different rates. if you're ready, you're ready. if your not well your not. people sex-lives is nobody business but there own... what age they lose there virginity. is there decision. Sex is emotional no matter how old you are. and your teen years is going to be emotional. just take the proper precautions, be safe.

by Anonymous 11 years ago