+39 The person they are cheating with is not the homewrecker. amirite?

by Anonymous 10 months ago

It's fun to ignore the meaning of words. A "homewrecker" is specifically for the term of the person engaged with an affair of a married person. It does not absolve the cheater of any blame or wrongdoing, but a homewrecker is deliberately engaging with someone in a committed relationship.

by Anonymous 10 months ago

Right. It's of my opinion that this word xyz means something else. But in reality I am actually completely f ing worng. But hey it's my opinion, that's all that matters. Having so much fun being me πŸ˜‚πŸ˜€πŸ˜‰πŸ«£πŸ˜¬πŸ˜£πŸ˜‘

by InevitableOwl8063 10 months ago

Yes, that's the term. But the person actually wrecking the home is the cheater.

by FriendlyEnd9267 10 months ago

Not mutually exclusive.

by Anonymous 10 months ago

Are you being deliberately obtuse? The OP clearly recognises that this is the definition. Their point is it should INSTEAD be the word for the cheating spouse to put the culpability squarely on them.

by Elegant_Judgment 10 months ago

Lol point to one thing in the OP that suggests they are actually aware of the real definition. They say "get it straight people" which I kinda doubt they would do if they were only advocating that their definition should replace the recognized definition. I think they're simply wrong.

by Choice_Truth 10 months ago

Sounds like they are being deliberately obtuse lol

by Uvolkman 10 months ago

See your assumption that you have no responsibility over how you treat others is the problem.

by Anonymous 10 months ago

You treated someone to sex. Someone choosing your sex over their partner is their issue

by considinewanda 10 months ago

No, if the married person is willing to cheat that home is already wrecked

by Anonymous 10 months ago

I would suggest respect for others, but clearly you don't have any. Maybe one day you'll become an adult and understand

by Anonymous 10 months ago

But why? That is NOT the definition. Example: A "bulldozer" will wreck your home (like litterly will tear it apart to the ground). But that bulldozer does not live in or is any way a part of the physical or metaphorical "home".

by InevitableOwl8063 10 months ago

Finally the real answer

by Anonymous 10 months ago

Nahhh pretty sure the one whose home it is and stepped out of the home wrecked the home.

by FriendlyEnd9267 10 months ago

yes, the responsibility is on them, but if you knowingly sleep with a married person, you're definitely not morally clean

by Boring-Dog-80 10 months ago

But only one took an oath and made a promise.

by ApprehensiveMonk3475 10 months ago

you don't have to make an oath in order to be a decent person. not making an oath doesn't dissolve you of your bad deeds.

by Boring-Dog-80 10 months ago

Which is a sentiment I can agree with, but I don't think that was OP's point. I think they were trying to argue semantics of something that's already a defined term.

by Anonymous 10 months ago

If a cheater sleeps with someone not knowing the person is in a relationship, and the person intentionally lies about being single, would you still blame the cheater or would you consider him a victim?

by Anonymous 10 months ago

Everytime someone shares a story like that, they get sympathy since at the very least it is perceived as them being tricked.

by Anonymous 10 months ago

Definitely a victim because then they might also be hurt by the revelation, since the cheater likely promised a relationship with them

by Anonymous 10 months ago

Victim all through

by Anonymous 10 months ago

Your question doesn't make sense. To be a cheater you have to be in a relationship. You are not a cheater for sleeping with someone in a relationship, that's the homewrecker. But to answer what i think you meant to ask. If you are not aware the other person is in a relationship that would make you a victim, because in a way you are being cheated on as well

by Anonymous 10 months ago

i knowingly slept with a person in a relationship once. she was my ex-girlfriend, and she had rushed right into a relationship after we broke up. a couple months later, she comes over to my house under the guise of seeing the cat that we had together that i am now the owner of. it felt like she was there just to sleep with me tho. i turned her down like 5 times and eventually i caved. when it was over, she then tried to blame me and said i "made her." it took me a long while for me to not feel like the one in the wrong. that was one of many things she made me feel like was my fault.

by Greenfelderlind 10 months ago

A cheater is a person that's in a relationship and sleeping with someone other than the spouse. So a cheater that sleeps with someone not knowing about their own relationship should go to a doctor because they have some serious issues regarding their memory. However if a person sleeps with someone that's in a relationship but doesn't know about it, they're a victim as well, because they were lied to just like the cheated on spouse

by Anonymous 10 months ago

This.

by Anonymous 10 months ago

Homewrecker was traditionally the term applied to women who was trying to break up a marriage. It is the mistress who wanted her partner to get divorced and marry them.

by casimirlynch 10 months ago

It's the married party who is cheating and breaking up their relationship.

by Sanfordshawn 10 months ago

That's true, but the one in the relationship is more in the wrong. And there are times when the other person doesn't know that the person they're sleeping with is actually married/in a relationship. So I still agree with OP that the person in the relationship is the real homewrecker because they're ruining their own relationships and their own home.

by Anonymous 10 months ago

Ah, the good old days.

by Anonymous 10 months ago

Okay but the definition of the term is pretty well established by this point.

by Anonymous 10 months ago

I agree. The affair partner may not have the best morals, but the cheater is the one who made a commitment and then broke it. And even if the affair partner initiated the cheating, the cheater still made a choice to continue with it.

by Anonymous 10 months ago

Yeah. The affair partner didn't make any vows and isn't breaking them

by Smart_Stranger 10 months ago

You know, if you knowingly assist someone in committing a crime, you can get charged as well, often with penalties damn near as severe as the person who committed the crime. Why should a person assisting a cheater not get any of the social punishment? I mean, as things stand, I don't think cheaters (or the people they cheat with) get enough punishment to have deterrence. Often they get rewarded! Social stigma of cheaters (and the people they do it with) is the only deterrence to this behavior, and even that is almost gone.

by Any-Classroom8759 10 months ago

Which jurisdiction has infidelity as a crime?

by Smart_Stranger 10 months ago

South Korea, but it's besides the point. If you assist someone in doing something wrong, you bear part of that responsibility.

by Any-Classroom8759 10 months ago

In SK the affair partner is criminally liable?

by Smart_Stranger 10 months ago

Honestly, I am going with info from.more than 10 years ago, so not sure about current situation. But if you cheat on your spouse in SK(at least about 12 years ago) you would get in trouble with the government (whether the trouble was a fine or more I am nor sure). But you are going in a different direction, the point is not whether cheating should be illegal, only that a bad action being committed by one individual is not only the responsibility of the individual but people who knowingly assist the person in committing the act, that is true with crimes, and should be true for any morally reprehensible behavior.

by Any-Classroom8759 10 months ago

TouchΓ©

by Past-Foundation3399 10 months ago

They meant other people's husbands, duh?

by Medical_Structure644 10 months ago

I mean, it's the person who is married responsibility not to sleep with someone else. It's no one else's job to ensure the marriage works but the people married

by Anonymous 10 months ago

Yes, continue blaming the people's who aren't married. Its their responsibility to keep your relationship intact.

by Anonymous 10 months ago

lol.

by Past-Foundation3399 10 months ago

So they should turn down the married person who clearly wants to sleep with them so that the married person can instead just eventually sleep with someone else and ruin the relationship anyway? The married person made a commitment and is 100 percent at fault if they cheat on their partner. Period.

by Anonymous 10 months ago

then don't complain if their partner gets revenge on them and you end up being collateral damage. the cheated on partner doesn't owe you anything either.

by Anonymous 10 months ago

Then you're not really agreeing with me and that's ok. If you want to misplace your anger then do it. I am not here to police your behavior. Just know you're wrong

by Anonymous 10 months ago

im applying your own logic. if the affair partner doesn't owe the cheated on partner anything then the cheated on partner doesn't owe the affair partner anything either.

by Anonymous 10 months ago

Revenge is for the weak.

by ApprehensiveMonk3475 10 months ago

I mean I agree with the sentiment. Homewrecker literally means the third party, but it's definitely the married cheater who deserves the most scorn. I think that it's understandable though that someone being cheated on will lash out at the third party, you still have some feelings for the cheater and it's less ambiguous with the third party, so often they get the first scorn. You still shouldn't fool around with people in relationships. But primary blame should be on the person choosing to cheat on their partner for sure.

by Anonymous 10 months ago

Plenty of blame to go around

by Anonymous 10 months ago

Exactly. Saying one person is a homewrecker doesn't exclude the affair partner or absolve them of guilt. 2 things can be true. There can even be more. My ex cheated on me with my sister's husband and in this case, her mother egged her on and supported them. 3 homewreckers.

by Anonymous 10 months ago

Yes. People are quick to put the blame on the affair as a way of giving the actual cheater a pass. I feel like people need someone to blame, and if thy want to try to save their relationship they cope by putting all of the blame on the other person. As far as I'm concerned, the cheater deserves the full blame.

by Temporary-Shelter140 10 months ago

Whatever you say, homewrecker lol

by jakubowskiameli 10 months ago

Yeah, OP seems to be coping hard here, lol!

by Anonymous 10 months ago

Wrong. They are a homewrcker. The literal definition of the term.

by Anonymous 10 months ago

If they know then they are too. Knowingly being a part of causing someone else pain like being cheated on, makes you a bad person.

by Anonymous 10 months ago

That person is going to cheat. They've made the decision. They already suck and are going to hurt their partner. The person who sleeps with them is just getting it out of the way.

by Anonymous 10 months ago

If they know, they are partially responsible. And are, homewreckers, like the former.

by ichamplin 10 months ago

Ok homewrecker

by Anonymous 10 months ago

The home was likely wrecked long before the cheating started.

by Anonymous 10 months ago

This is true

by Anonymous 10 months ago

How this is even unpopular stymies me. Like the hate for Arianna Grande. That man she "so cruelly seduced" allowed it. She went after something she wanted, he wrecked his own home and didn't say no. Ari didn't do anything wrong. The husband did. She's not a homewrecker. The idea that men are just easily led away from their marriages by these soulless women who want nothing more than to destroy happy families in pursuit of their own sexual and financial gain is so tired and mysoginistic. No man will be led out of a marriage he's happy in. He cheated, she has no blame.

by Anonymous 10 months ago

I've never understood in movies when usually a guy walks in on his gf cheating and he yells something like "get off of her, leave my girlfriend alone!" And seemingly is only frustrated with the guy, like that didn't the larger issue here

by Electrical-Award-702 10 months ago

How are they not also a homewrecker if they know the other person is married?

by garrisonframi 10 months ago

But you could just as easily say the person cheating with the married person is inserting themselves into their home and wrecking it. That is what the phrase originally was used for.

by garrisonframi 10 months ago

They can't "insert themselves into their home" if the cheater doesn't make the choice to break their promise and allow them in. If you're married and someone propositions you, you don't have to engage. You choose to engage, therefore breaking your vow and your home.

by Anonymous 10 months ago

And if you knowingly cheat with a married person, you are complicit in homewrecking, so you would be a homewrecker. If a thief hires you for a job and you help them steal something, you are also a thief. It doesn't matter if they could have found someone else. You still stole something.

by garrisonframi 10 months ago

I don't think anyone is saying the affair partner is without blame. But if you're married and someone says "forget your spouse, let's have sex", no vows have been broken until the spouse chooses to say yes and engage. The spouse can also choose to say no, go home, tell their spouse and despite the other person's immoral actions, no home has been broken.

by Anonymous 10 months ago

why stick your ass in something that doesn't concern you then

by Anonymous 10 months ago

Naw, I disagree with you there, op. They are a homewrecker. If they are fully, they are with someone in a relationship, especially said person has kids too, So yes, it is homewrecking because they are helping to destroy a home.

by Anonymous 10 months ago

The third person who knows they're involved in an affair and still commits the act IS the definition of a homewrecker. This is not an opinion, it's the meaning of the word.

by Anonymous 10 months ago

Not to mention how extremely infantilizing it is toward women to blame the guy. Like... shouldn't you be divorcing your cheating wife instead of punching some guy who just wanted some hot housewife nookie? Surely you can sympathize... Talk about objectification! It's literally, "You played with my toy!"

by Anonymous 10 months ago

Completely agreed.

by luigi90 10 months ago

I agree with OP: the only home wrecker is the married person knowingly cheating

by Zkling 10 months ago

Get out of here with your 'You shall not covet your neighbour's wife' attitude. They have no commitment to the cheater's partner regardless of whether they know or not. Cheater breaks their own commitment.

by Stromanryleigh 10 months ago

What you say is true, but if people actually called them out on what they're doing instead of getting their rocks off, I think things would be a lot different

by Anonymous 10 months ago

Wait until you hear about inflammable!

by Moenabdul 10 months ago

It takes two to make a thing go right 🎢

by RelativeDependent636 10 months ago

Nah...

by ApprehensiveMonk3475 10 months ago

Yep.

by gleichnerlinnie 10 months ago

Yes and no. But mostly yes

by Rosenbaumomer 10 months ago

Depends on the situation. Either way the Chester is a POS. If the person knows about the cheater has a partner and doesn't care. Then yea, they are a homewrecker.

by Sea-Yesterday-9300 10 months ago

They will always blame the other person though

by Anonymous 10 months ago

If the cheater actually took vows and made promises ( before gawd and their friends & family ) then no matter how much the 'other' person is dedicated to only sleeping with married people, the cheater is 100% responsible for violating the promises they made to their spouse. The 'other' made no such promises to the cheaters spouse

by wittingbreanne 10 months ago

Even more unpopular of an opinion, I guess, is that I would actually be quite positive about that person who you call homewrecker. Thanks for showing me this partner isn't worth my time, buddy! We also clearly have some shared interests if you liked the partner I liked, maybe we should even grab a beer or something

by nolan97 10 months ago

If the person knows your in a relationship and does it anyway they are just as guilty.

by russmccullough 10 months ago

Just as? Are vows meaningless to you?

by Smart_Stranger 10 months ago

knowingly sleeping with someone who is in a relationship is just as bad as the cheater

by schaeferrickie 10 months ago

This whole "the person they cheat with is 0% guilty" is nothing more than a dumb coping mechanism

by Johnnie25 10 months ago

I think it generally doesn't matter who you call what, but I see your point mostly because I've experienced and heard of instances of cheating where people will call the "other person" the homewrecker to take responsibility away from the person cheating. Like they were seduced and weren't in total control, and were just hopelessly lured into this outcome by some peripheral devil who actually made this happen. That's not true of course, so I agree that the cheater is the one who should be called the homewrecker, if only to make sure they can't avoid ANY of the responsibility and blame.

by Anonymous 10 months ago

I kind of always pictured it as someone who intentionally goes after a married person, with the intention of the married person leaving the SO for them.

by True-Ad6297 10 months ago

Do you think there is a distinction to be made for a someone who doesn't know someone is married vs knows someone is married when they choose to sleep with them?

by Medical_Structure644 10 months ago

Imagine there was someone who knowingly bought stolen goods. They might not have stolen them themselves but they are willingly providing monetary gain to someone who they know is stealing. They don't care about the people who are stolen from, and they profit from their suffering. Would you call this person a thief? Or at least an enabler? Would you consider them equally as guilty as someone who was unknowingly buying stolen items?

by Foreign_Craft 10 months ago

Pretty sure that if you cheat with someone you know is married, you willingly wreck their home.

by Anonymous 10 months ago

Lmao changing the meaning of a word isn't an opinion it's just dumb.

by Suitable_Date 10 months ago

No such thing as a homewrecker. The term was invented to put the blame on women. Yes women cheat too, but when was the last time you ever heard someone call a man a homewrecker? It's usually a term used by ex wives and bystanders

by Marcelgrant 10 months ago

Yes.

by Anonymous 10 months ago

Yes its cheating FYI: You can get a divorce without the spouses permission.

by Anonymous 10 months ago

I agree 100% I also don't think its anything wrong with sleeping with people in a relationship knowing they are in a relationship. As long as its all between consenting adults, i don't care who people have sex with.

by Anonymous 10 months ago

Please get this straight people I understand straights aren't the brightest, but I think this applies to all sexual orientations

by Anonymous 10 months ago

🀣

by Anonymous 10 months ago

If the married person is gonna cheat, it doesn't matter much who it's with. If not that person, the cheater's gonna cheat anyway.

by Anonymous 10 months ago

No one even has to be cheating to be a homewrecker. Anyone who destroys their family through their actions is a homewrecker, be it cheating, no fault divorce, addiction, or abuse.

by Camilarau 10 months ago

ITT: virgins getting mad at you and giving you generic advice that you could skim off a Wikipedia page

by Anonymous 10 months ago