I think it depends on how you define work. Like it takes effort and depending what you go through it might take more effort than you expected

by Elijah47 9 months ago

I see that, but I would counter that if someone is hurting you enough that you have to have those "hard conversations" more than once a week, it's by definition not a good relationship. Three, four times a year, maybe you have a fight, someone feels hurt, sure. Multiple times a month, nope. I'm not talking about general squabbling (although too much of that is a bad sign, too.) But real, state-of-the-relationship, you've hurt me conversations, more than once every couple of months? You're probably just a bad fit.

by Recent-Progress 9 months ago

if the whole relationship feels like hard work, you're probably with the wrong person Yeah exactly this, being with my husband is the easiest most natural thing I've ever done

by Anonymous 9 months ago

I was referring mostly to the marriage I'm still in after 18 years.

by Recent-Progress 9 months ago

Ok to be fair loving my fiancé is super easy and comes naturally, but that doesn't mean that we don't have our fair share of big arguments. It's not black and white

by Anonymous 9 months ago

I spent two hours on the phone last night with a girl trying to let her down easy because she was trying to get us to DTR before we had even gone out on a single date lol it was very awkward and I hated it but I was trying to be nice. It was just too much

by Anonymous 9 months ago

I think when people say, "relationships take hard work" they aren't thinking about just being mature -- because being mature also applies to jobs, and parenting, and every other aspect of your life. People think that it means constantly working on the relationship, particularly by therapy and talking things out. My position is that if you are constantly having to discuss your relationship, you're probably in the wrong one.

by Recent-Progress 9 months ago

And I've been married for 18 years. But I was also considering the healthiest, least toxic relationships in my dating years (vs. the more problematic ones.)

by Recent-Progress 9 months ago