in a society that values clear communication You must not be in the US, because people here sure as hell don't seem to value clear communication.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

It depends on where you go. Where I'm originally from people are direct to the point that people from other areas consider us rude.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

Northeast?

by madelynkulas 2 months ago

Yup.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

Masshole checking in we earned our nickname lol

by Anonymous 2 months ago

If it makes you feel any better, it doesn't matter whether or not you're American and if you change your wording - Someone will always have an issue with you or the words you say here lol

by Anonymous 2 months ago

Man sometimes I feel like at one point I stumbled into an alternate dimension that's exactly like the one I was in, except in this one everyone is stupider and forgot how to communicate. I just know it wasn't always this bad man.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

I grew up in a "guess culture" that relies on hints. I'm really good at reading other people's intentions due to this. But I'm now married to someone who grew up in an "ask culture", and I can see the huge benefits to simply just being straight forward with what you want. Because lots of people are horrible at reading hints. My husband and I are only together because he failed to read my previous "hints", and I ended up eventually outright asking him out. Hints are also just terrible in relationships overall because relationships require strong communication. Hints just kinda suck overall for the most part. It recently came to my attention that my family is very uncomfortable with confrontation of any kind, and as a result, they "hint" things all the time without being direct about their feelings. For instance, my brother and his wife were staying with my grandmother for about a year or so. She had recently lost my grandfather, and has various health issues, so they were seeing this as a win-win because they could help her out around the house and help look after her. Overtime she started complaining to the rest of the family that they were outstaying their welcome. She claimed that she had told them they could stay for a couple of months. She in fact, had not said this. It sounds like she hinted at it, but was not at all direct. They had no idea she felt like this, and moved out immediately. I feel bad for them, and I think my family overall was annoyed with my grandmother after this for not being direct. So yeah, hints suck. Just be straight forward with what you want. It saves everyone from having to overthink things.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

May I ask what you mean by "guess" and "ask" culture? I've never heard of these terms before and I'm curious

by Anonymous 2 months ago

I agree. It always frustrates me when someone acts like "dropping hints" is the same as saying something outright. It's not, and you're a coward if you do it.

by PrintAppropriate3818 2 months ago

Bro doesnt know what being socially awkward is

by Tomasakemmer 2 months ago

While being socially awkward is a thing and can cause this it doesn't excuse not working on yourself to not be socially awkward

by kilbackgarrison 2 months ago

Why are you always expecting a finished product? How do you know its not being worked on?

by Tomasakemmer 2 months ago

I've just decided to not care, I'm not worried about it. Shoot your shot or I won't get it, simple as that. The games aren't annoying though do your thing if. I'm not throwing hints or being straightforward so idk 🤷‍♂️ I'm 24 and just living for myself y'know

by Remote_Craft 2 months ago

Kinda different but I know some one that throws "hint" when they are mad, and if we do not pick up on them they just get more mad...

by Anonymous 2 months ago

If I know someone is dropping hints I'll deliberately ignore them

by opal24 2 months ago

Yes, that is called being passive aggressive. And this is an incredibly common opinion amongst anyone with emotional intelligence.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

Passive sure. But how does it fit under aggressive?? Like I'm not even disagreeing I'm just more curious to understand

by Anonymous 2 months ago

It's a power play. You spend more time thinking about what i meant than I spent in saying it. It's a net waste of your time.

by Queasy-Use 2 months ago

Who is doing this though? Grown adults?

by Sandrahessel 2 months ago

Yes. In fact, as a heterosexual man who's grown up in Western society, I can say that it has been my experience that pretty much the only time grown adult women don't try to communicate entirely in hints is when they're complaining about what poor communicators men are.

by Fabiola41 2 months ago

Oh no

by Sandrahessel 2 months ago

Who here havin crushes as a working professional adult? What is your level of adult right now?

by Anonymous 2 months ago

If you can't catch the hints, that person is probably not for you anyway.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

I'm not a hint fan, either. Good luck getting me to take a hint. Those are not accepted here. I think it's part of my communication style, and I get frustrated when people aren't clear. However, most people just aren't like me, and are better at hints.

by Monserratkozey 2 months ago

I'd rather people aren't direct because then I can at least pretend i don't understand they're flirting with me.

by Tasty_Ad_2282 2 months ago

are you talking about flirting? if you can't flirt that's fine

by Anonymous 2 months ago

Flirting and hinting is fun and exciting though.

by wilmer55 2 months ago

Bummer for you, it is fun to have crushes

by Radiant_Double 2 months ago

Purposeful hints suck for sure. But, the vast majority of human communication is non verbal. Relying on being communicated to verbally is going to put anyone in a communication black hole with whoever they are seeking relationships with.

by Express-Machine2491 2 months ago

I've always struggled with "hints". I've told my partner and my friends that they should be direct with me, but even then, its hard for some of them. Me, on the other hand, I never give hints. I use tons of metaphors, but always say exactly what I mean. It drives me crazy when someone thinks I just have to have some alternate meaning and keeps saying "so, what you're really saying is.....?" No. I said exactly what I meant to say.

by Anonymous 2 months ago