It is selfish and uncaring to not downsize as you get older, amirite?

I think the root of what you're saying has merit, I'm not sure I'd go as far as to say they are selfish and uncaring though. I think including property management as part of funeral and end of life planning would be a good thing for every family.

by robertsalfred 1 week ago

I think i should be able to live comfortably with the stuff I want especially since I spent my entire life working for it.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Most people don't really anticipate when they're going to die. It sounds horribly depressing to get rid of your stuff at some arbitrary age and just sit around waiting to die. Older people taking comfort in their familiar possessions isn't being selfish and unloving. When my grandparents died, they had a lot of crap that we had to go through. There were some pieces that I was glad they held on to that I was able to take with me. If they had gotten rid of it all when they turned 70, I would have still been in high school and wouldn't have had anywhere to put the furniture I wanted.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Definitely some lack of nuance I'm these replies. Of course if you use it regularly no need to get rid of it... I think we can all agree hoarding 3 of everything and keeping stuff you haven't touched in a few years is probably something you should get rid of at some point. There is room in between too. Op is likely referring to those old people with a basement full of stuff and they haven't set foot in their basement in months, if not years. He's not wrong.

by No_Phrase 1 week ago

Of course I meant a garage full of stuff not used cupboards upon cupboards of unused dishes and clothes you haven't worn since 1980

by Fit-Technology-4145 1 week ago

Yeah, I didn't mind cleaning out my parent's actual living space. The house I grew up in and two barns rotting and full of junk on the same property that became my problem to deal with, I minded a bit. You don't have to live like a ascetic monk after a certain age, but please be aware that someone is going to have to deal with it eventually.

by Dependent-Emotion644 1 week ago

So are you saying that the elderly don't deserve to have things they like and only the young are allowed to enjoy material things? Because that's what it sounds like to me. "When you get old you deserve to have nothing because it will be inconvenient for others when you die so you have to get rid of all your possessions after you hit xx age" So I'm curious, what about the people that die in their 30s and have a lot of stuff that needs to be gone through are these people "selfish" as well because they want to own things they can enjoy or is it only the elderly because nobody dies before they turn 60/70/ECT right?

by Annabel55 1 week ago

Agreed. Not only unpopular but also self-entitled and selfish.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

If only we could know the date we'd die a year in advance we could start downsizing. Until that becomes a thing, nope, not happening

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I think the point is to declutter, while you are able to, maybe starting at age 60. There are so many people that end up becoming hoaders. Not saying that people shouldn't keep what they need, but keeping broken, unused stuff is just creating a headache for those who will be responsible for disposing of it when you're gone. If someone dies an unexpected early death, in their 30's, that is an entirely different matter.

by marlin44 1 week ago

I kinda also want to point out to the OP while people are sad cleaning up what little i had I'm the one who's dead.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I understand this perspective, but I think many people have accumulated "stuff" for years that they don't actually enjoy. They just don't want to take the time to deal with going through it and purging. My in-laws are like this. They raised their 5 children in a large home and still live there, but now that their kids are grown the bedrooms are just storage for all of the stuff they don't want to deal with. They don't use the majority of it, and they know it will be a burden on their kids and mention it often, but if anyone tries to help them sort through it, they refuse. And this isn't a hoarding situation, just years of unused gifts, outdated gadgets, and old toys and games that one garage sale could remedy. It took my FIL and his siblings 2 years to finally go through their parents home after they died, and after that experience he swore he wouldn't do that to his own kids, but here we are 10 years later. I don't think it's selfishness as much as it is denial of their own mortality.

by Bright_Effort5482 1 week ago

This is actually a thing. My brother in law's parents passed away many months ago (RIP) and he is still angry over all the stuff they left behind that he had to go through and decide what to do with. Apparently they left a LOT of stuff. He had a great relationship with his parents, so it caught me by surprise that he was angry even after some time had passed. It must have been a lot of stuff. I don't know. They live far from me and I never met them.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Not only is anger a step in the grieving process but sometimes it's easier to funnel the emotions you're feeling (especially going through your loved one's belongings!) into anger. Then you aren't crying over every piece of clothing as you remember them wearing it to a special event or puzzle that you did together or tool that was used to make a dollhouse for your child...you get the idea.

by graciemcglynn 1 week ago

No. Your priorities are ok. All things of the world and temporary and will decay or rot in time. The attachment to it is normal because it's all we know. But when we die, it's worthless because we aren't there to value it.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I think this answer misses the point. Leaving a bunch of the crap to "decay" isn't what you're leaving it. It's crap your kids, family, friends or whoever have to deal with after your passing. They don't decay when they have to deal with your home. When my grandad died my uncle tried selling all my granddad's stuff, found a few companies just to uplift the lot but they all fell through. But had to dump tons, had to keep going back to the house for sellers etc etc. It was quite a lot of work. I wouldn't want to pass all that to my kids. But what do you do?

by sporerwillow 1 week ago

As opposed to having it sit in a garage somewhere and not be touched? Ya. Obviously you don't need to sell things you use.

by carole68 1 week ago

I don't use decor. I don't use photos. I don't use art. I don't use family heirlooms. I don't use my collectibles. Should I just get rid of it all and sit in an empty room with a chair and tv?

by quitzonemory 1 week ago

Yes stuff you don't use most Americans have loads of stuff they don't actually use.

by Fit-Technology-4145 1 week ago

I worked in elderly care when I lived in The Netherlands and would make home visits. Many elderly live in huge houses and only use a small part of it. Sometimes they are unable to go upstairs anymore because of a disability and 2 or 3 floors are completely unused, usually they have preserved the rooms of their kids (now adults often with children of their own) or just store clutter in them. Moving is difficult however because many rooms in elderly homes are extremely small, come with a lot of limitations (healthier partner not allowed to live with them, no pets), and are a lot more expensive than a paid off home or social housing they have been living in for 40 years. Meanwhile we have a huge housing crisis. So I agree with you, but downscaling should be made more attractive with more affordable elderly homes and less stringent rules.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

My kids are gonna hate me. Lol as I've gotten older I collect more stuff. But I get it I had to clean up when my dad passed. It was a lot especially when you're grieving

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Why should I get rid of stuff I am using just because I am old? Seem selfish on your part for wanting me to get rid of stuff before I am done with it.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Not unpopular, very practical. Hopefully my mom reads this.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

You need to to talk to your mom about it if you have any expectation of it getting done.

by Apart-Box 1 week ago

Oh no, someone has to feel "sad" in the aftermath of their parents' dying when they have to clean out the stuff, i.e. deal with the reality that this person used to be alive and now is dead. That's not a defect of horrible and selfish behavior, that's just grieving, dealing with the reality of death.

by Adventurous-Move-469 1 week ago

We are talking about having the stress of dealing with stuff vs being able to grieve. No ides where you got the idea they shouldn't grieve or it causes them to grieve - I'm talking about taking months getting rid of crap nobody wants.

by Fit-Technology-4145 1 week ago

You mean a child may have to clean up after their parent? Only when they do that for me.. wait.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

They should at least leave some money so you can hire a company to empty the house out If they have some variables like jewellery maybe that can pay for it

by Anonymous 1 week ago

It's true I think as Americans we have too much crap - so maybe my opinion is crowded by this but what would you want to do for your kids? Go through stuff and find a home for it while you are alive - they can tell you what it meant to them- or wait till you die and they have to agonize over what they'd want you to keep?

by Fit-Technology-4145 1 week ago

Ha. The elderly person doesn't want to deal with it either.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I'm sure I could live without 50% of the stuff in my garage - I just don't know which 50%.

by InfiniteBuy 1 week ago

I'm 50 and have been living paycheck to paycheck my entire adult life. I am a minimalist boy by choice, but have realized ice been fine with it my entire life. I have nothing to give if I died tomorrow. The only thing I have right now to pass on to my kids is my outlook on life. To have empathy. To smile. To enjoy the small things. To help those you can. So I might not have physical things to give to my kids, or a massive amount of stuff. I've tried and still try to give them something they can hand down to their children if they want them.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

It's selfish to dictate to others what they should and shouldn't have when they die so that you don't have to spend time and effort to clean up.

by Apart-Box 1 week ago

Text book selfishness: being mad that someone else owns stuff.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I read this three times and still have no idea what your talking about am I stupid

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Having possessions is human. It's okay for a person to not want to throw everything out just because they're old, lol. I don't mind cleaning stuff out for my parents. I want them to be comfortable in their old age and hang onto the stuff that matters to them. It's all just part of life.

by Living-Living 1 week ago

Real estate should depreciate if left vacant.

by Sorry_Stranger_4831 1 week ago

The reason parents buy and keep that stuff is because it's an investment for their kids. The kids can sell it later on or keep some of the stuff if moving to a different house. For instance my dad buys a lot of antique items that would look good in any house.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

you can hire people to do the cleaning up.

by Suspicious-Farm-6023 1 week ago

Yes you are leaving someone else to pay for all the stuff you collected

by Fit-Technology-4145 1 week ago

Then don't clean it up if you don't want to

by Anonymous 1 week ago

first off, I own nothing- like literally nothing. I have lived in abject poverty since birth... but none of that matters anyway If someone is bitching about having to hire a cleaner when i die, then I hope the cleaner charges them double just for having a crummy attitude.

by Suspicious-Farm-6023 1 week ago

Suit yourself, the stuff I own will be worth a small fortune by the time my kids inherit it, and they'll get to decide if they want to keep or sell it.

by Dull_Parsley_9570 1 week ago

Such a misconception just because you spent money on it doesn't mean it's worth anything. There is more heavingbold furniture that knownone will buy than you can imagine, people don't use or collect china etc older people have a huge misconception about what is valuable right now and what people will pay for.

by Fit-Technology-4145 1 week ago

This ain't furniture or useless china guys, think more compact and actually worth something.

by Dull_Parsley_9570 1 week ago

Well, we won't know they're like you, now will we?

by Dull_Parsley_9570 1 week ago