-47 If you are a monogamous person, breaking up is the best option if a threesome was suggested by your partner even if it's to spice up your sex life. amirite?

by Shealockman 9 months ago

Not an unpopular opinion.

by meagan86 9 months ago

This person's opinion centers around the delusion that your partner will NEVER want to experience sex with another person again, and if they do, they don't love you enough to be in a relationship with

by Anonymous 9 months ago

because if they come at you with this talk and have a person in mind already, it's over. you're just delaying the inevitable

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Person in monogamous relationship: "I'm happy and consent to a threesome." Their partner: "Me too" The threesomee: "So do I." OP: "Isn't there someone you forgot to ask?"

by Anonymous 9 months ago

^ The cookie has a point

by Anonymous 9 months ago

They're talking about when one person wants one and the other doesn't, very different

by Junior_Tadpole_6920 9 months ago

They are quite literally not. Op is saying if the conversation is even brought up- then breaking up is inevitable so just break up.

by Far-Grass 9 months ago

Yes.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Is is a good thing though, that a regular question about a kink should cause shistorms? Or should that rather be something we discourage? Because I'd say the latter. It's not something that outlandish either, lots of people function in various kinds of open marriages. It's not like suggestion of a threesome is on the level of a suggestion of killing someone for example. It's something a person might or might not be into, and how else do you find that out if not by asking?

by Anonymous 9 months ago

This "regular kink" implies that you don't see intimacy as private, special, or emotional, just a form of unexclusive pleasure. My girlfriend would never ask me this as she "like me" sees intimacy as exclusive and emotional. So yeah, it's a question with many implications (If you're single you wouldn't get it :)

by Mireilledamore 9 months ago

Just knowing your partner wants to do that when you don't is certainly not a good thing for any relationship

by Isabelschulist 9 months ago

I have seen this argument over and over and it just doesn't make sense to me. Not every suggestion about something should be understood "I can't possibly live without this" or "I need this to feel truly happy", which is what people imply with this. Some people may see a threesome (or whatever other kink) as a method to spice things up between the partners and when they get a "no" they'll just get over it. Not every single thing that comes to a person's mind is that serious thing they will not be happy without. Especially a threesome which most people don't participate in, ever.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Well, there's expressing to have a threesome and there's expressing to have an open relationship. The latter is a red flag on fire.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

They didn't suggest breaking the boundaries. They discussed if the boundaries are right for them

by friesenadrian 9 months ago

I mean it depends on what you consider a monogamous relationship. Personally I don't think having a threesome once would make a relationship non-monogamous. I think when your partner even thinks about breaking the boundaries in the monogamous relationship Your partner might have had the idea of a threesome way before they even met you. If you're discussing things you want to try and they mention a threesome, it doesn't mean they necessarily think of breaking the boundaries unless you have explicitly mentioned "no threesome discussion".

by Anonymous 9 months ago

I always find it weird when a random internet stranger tries to dictate to other people how they should handle their own personal life. In a relationship, you should be able to ask for thing and express yourself without the fear of being dumped. Ask yourself a question : How do you establish a boundary ? People don't usually carry a book of boundaries so they can show them all to their SO. This is the kind of things you learn with time. Sex life is full of boudaries and the only way to find out what works for your couple is by talking about it. If you treaten your partner of leaving them when they are trying to figure out what are the boundaries in your relationship, you are clearly doing it wrong.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Nah, my ex was super bi. I got to bang all manners of hot chicks because of her. You just gotta be confident

by General-Extent-2257 9 months ago

"My ex"

by Lillywhite 9 months ago

"Hot"

by Anonymous 9 months ago

"Confident"

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Given that most of relationships end up with break up, i don't think you can extrapolate one thing you know about that relationship as a cause of it.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

"Bang"

by Original-Dig-5953 9 months ago

I'm honestly surprised this isn't a popular opinion.

by Cute_Landscape 9 months ago

Not really agreeing on the break up part but I do agree that it's a clear sign something is not going well on your relationship. Also it's just an excuse when you say it's to spice up your sex life. There is million kinks, fetishes, toys, etc etc, to do that for you instead of bringing another human into monogamy.

by Big_Building 9 months ago

While I'm not here to kink shame anyone who's into it, there are a LOT of kinks I would personally find utterly disrespectful, nauseating, or a general turn off. If given the choice between a threesome and knife play, I'd choose the threesome every day of the week that ends with y. To me, anything relating to bodily harm is a worst kink to consider than anything relating to not being monogamous. I'm not saying you have to pick threesome, or like them. But "spice up sex life" can absolutely be a reason. I'd rather have a threesome than do half of the stuff some BDSM members do. That's just me, I'm not trampling on any other consenting relationship's parade, I'm just pushing back on the idea that it's automatically problematic if someone suggests a threesome before any of the other "so many" kinks out, especially if they're okay with you saying no and finding something else to try instead.

by Daughertymavis 9 months ago

Not sure on your orientation (its moot to my point anyway). But most hetero males have had or had friends share the classic stereotypical M, F, F threesome fantasy openly since puberty. Good luck.

by ExpressElephant 9 months ago

Some people are too obsessed with breaking ups

by Ok-Television-6746 9 months ago

Having a consensual threesome in an otherwise monogamous relationship isn't breaking any boundaries.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

So just to clarify, you're NOT joining us tonight?

by Amari43 9 months ago

People are still monogamous? /s

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Depends on whether she meant another chick or not.

by caspermaynard 9 months ago

It doesn't hurt to ask. If your partner says no, accept it, move on and just watch threeway porn like the rest of us. Asking doesn't automatically mean the end of the relationship. This is a very, VERY naïve and inexperienced with relationships opinion.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Threesomes can work in a close, loving, open, and trusting relationship. If one of those elements is lacking or breaks down though, it can get messy. I've witnessed more than a few marriages fall apart that way.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Just say you're embarrassed of your body and don't want to be seen naked, don't cover it up with this nonsense.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

I would agree, a threesome is absolutely inappropriate for someone in a relationship and if it is brought up then it is failing.

by Shanel15 9 months ago

100% yes

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Occasionally, your partner probably "thinks about breaking the boundaries in the monogamous relationship" when a hot man or woman smiles at him or her, and it might not even take that much. Thinking about it, proposing it, and doing it are much different things.

by Upstairs_Position 9 months ago

I mean it's entirely possible for a couple to communicate that they love eachother, but they still find other people attractive. And that's okay, you don't just magically become disgusted by everyone else but your SO. Not every threesome in every relationship is done to "spice things up".... it's done to fulfill fantasies. It's done because one of you is bi, or curious. But if you're doing it to spice things up, then it's time to break up. That's basically like saying, "I'm bored and you haven't satisfied me in a while so I want someone else to satisfy me"

by Owilliamson 9 months ago

best option is to just have a fun time with your partner in a threesome.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

That's an opinion alright

by gia25 9 months ago