+46 If you have a destination wedding. You should be responsible for the plane tickets for your guests. amirite?

by UnderstandingNeat 2 months ago

No. If you want to travel for your wedding, then it is entirely up to the guests to decide whether or not they want to/can afford to attend. If the people getting married absolutely insist on having certain people as guests; then they should pay for them to attend.

by Alarming-Race4183 2 months ago

This 100%. I've been to weddings abroad when I can and can afford to, others have had to say no because it was too expensive. I'd probably do the same, I couldn't care if everyone can't afford it as I wouldn't look down at them for it. But if I was the person who would then I should be paying

by Shaniyareinger 2 months ago

Yes, unfortunately I'm American and my partner is from the UK. No matter which way we spin it, one of our families is going to have to travel for our wedding. I don't feel great about it, but what are we supposed to do? I of course don't expect any of my family to come all the way to the UK, it's a big ask and expensive, but I certainly can't foot the flight bill for each of them either

by Anonymous 2 months ago

My younger brother got married in Oslo back in 2011. I flew from Korea (where I live and work), and our parents and sisters flew in from the States. I'm glad we all could afford to go to his wedding. Oslo is a beautiful city (but expensive). I'm not married but if I get married, my family would have to fly to South Korea. I wouldn't expect my whole family to visit, but I hope at least a few could attend.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

Easy solution. Get married in one, have the reception in the other. That way everyone has to travel

by Anonymous 2 months ago

Yep. I wish me and my husband would deplete our funds trying to have all the friends and family there. People can't make they lack passorts and money saving skills. Even when it's announced a year or two out, most don't go and it's because they simply don't want to or don't out the effort into saving up. And that's ok. But that day is about what the bride and groom want and there is no way they should have to stress about getting the entire guest party there. Maybe a few people ok but everybody? Nah. Taking care of another grown adult who is responsible for themselves is redundant. I wouldn't be comfortable knowing somebody had to cut into their honeymoon /savings just ensure I could make it to what island they wish to marry on. What IS reasonable is having a ceremony stateside that allows friends and family a better chance at attending. Flights and hotel are much more affordable and it allows them to still witness the special day. But even THAT is optional. It's about what the couple wants at the end of the day.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

We had to have a destination wedding because my husband and I come from different countries. We ended up paying for my parents tickets but everyone else had to pay for their own.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

This seems reasonable, of course many people opt for a "destination" wedding to avoid having the guests.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

Then just elope...

by Anonymous 2 months ago

It's not the same thing, eloping is doing it in secret, a destination wedding is often (not always) done as a cheap alternative by combining a wedding with a holiday/honeymoon , with no or few guests invited .

by Anonymous 2 months ago

Then eloping somewhere nice without it being shameful or a secret should be normalized.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

"If you're not gonna invite me to your wedding, and you're not gonna pay me to get out to see the wedding, you might as well just go down to the courthouse" lol

by Anonymous 2 months ago

If you don't actually want guests, yes, just elope! You can just do it in an exotic locale. Better that then having a wedding you don't actually want!

by Anonymous 2 months ago

The wedding people do often want is a destination thing with ONLY their closest friends and family in attendance

by Anonymous 2 months ago

I mean, they likely do want guests, just limited to the important people in their lives

by Wolfpiper 2 months ago

A wedding is for you, & not guests. If I wanna get married in Mexico, & be courteous to just invite ppl so there are no hard feelings, the ppl who wanna be there will a make it happen regardless. The wedding is gonna happen whether or not if there are guests.

by antoinette74 2 months ago

Thats where your wrong. A wedding is not about the bride or groom at all, and anyone whos actually been married indeerstand that ( unless their selfish toddlers). Im fine with destination weddings as long as your honest and polite to people and dont try and guilt them because they dont want to spend thousands on your wedding.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

The world is full of selfish people like you.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

They do it this way so the people that don't go feel guilt tripped into sending more money in the gift and the people getting married get a vacation.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

I had one. We had (almost equal amounts) of guests coming from 3 different cities, plus guests from over the world. Many people would have had to travel no matter where we did it, so we made everyone travel, it seemed fairer. We gave people 2 years notice. We booked a location where there was a range of hotels for a range of prices. But we also didn't get upset with people who chose not to come. It would be silly to get mad at someone because they couldn't afford it. We ended up with over 100 guests and had a great night. It was the last holiday my dad and his two brothers had together. Only my uncle survives, and he messages me every year on my anniversary to reminisce about his holiday with this brothers.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

We didn't have all the details 2 years ahead but we sent out 'save the date' fridge magnets 2 years ahead with the month and year so people could save and then send out proper invites about 8 months ahead

by Anonymous 2 months ago

That would still be ok I think!

by Anonymous 2 months ago

You should only be expected to pay for your guests if you threw a hissy fit when others decline to attend the wedding.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

The whole purpose of a destination wedding is the ability to leave no one uninvited knowing only a few may attend the event.

by Illustrious-Gold-129 2 months ago

There may still be several people that you don't want to invite.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

It's like an open secret. Good for guests if they want to vacation where the wedding is happening. And if they don't want to go, they have the perfect excuse already, too expensive!

by Anonymous 2 months ago

People not coming to a destination wedding because the ticket is expensive is not a bug, it's a feature. The couple doesn't want you to come, that's why the wedding is far away.

by Cassinherbert 2 months ago

Then just don't invite them? Idk why you'd need to be passive aggressive about it

by jess38 2 months ago

Just have rich friends.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

Half the point of having a destination wedding is to weed out extra guests. Paying for them would have the opposite effect.

by DesignerMinimum 2 months ago

You're not obligated to attend a destination wedding. Just because they want to travel doesn't mean I want to go or pay for it.

by EnthusiasmOpposite23 2 months ago

I feel like this used to be the standard thing for destination weddings. Rather than paying for 100 people at a reception nearby, the bride & groom would pay for 10 people to go somewhere far away. That's absolutely how it should be. It's so presumptuous and rude that a couple would expect all their friends & family to buy a whole-ass vacation just to watch them get married!

by Anonymous 2 months ago

It's so presumptuous and rude that a couple would expect all their friends & family to buy a whole-ass vacation just to watch them get married! Going on trips with friends and family is fun, and a wedding being the catalyst for it is a great reason.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

Ifs not expected lol it's a courteous invite.

by antoinette74 2 months ago

In standard receptions, the bride and groom (or their parents) host a reception. Meaning, they pay for the event and courteously invite attendees as guests. Those guests do not pay a ticket fee to get in the door. "Inviting" attendees to go to your destination event on their own dime is gauche. If you can't afford to host your attendees, don't have a destination wedding.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

You don't have to pay for your guest's tickets, it's up to them to decide if they can afford to come, but what you can't do is be mad at someone because they decided it is beyond their means. The couple should, however, have some things planned for the guests that did make the trip, like a free city tour at least, anything that shows appreciation for the people that went all the way there for them.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

This!! Trying to break the bank to ensure everybody comes is wild lol hell no.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

Couldn't agree more!

by Specialist_Card2234 2 months ago

Wedding culture is so obnoxious. That's it. End of statement

by Anonymous 2 months ago

That sounds insanely expensive, I would never expect couples to do that. On the flip side, if I wanted everyone to attend my wedding I wouldn't make it difficult and expensive for them to do so. Basic practicality.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

I would do this simply to ensure my family does not show up.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

The cost is upfront and the guests can choose to attend or not. They hosts have the option of footing the bill knowing the extra cost of flights will likely cause some people not to go. It's optional and should be. As long as the hosts are understanding when people decline due to that then what's the issue?

by Anonymous 2 months ago

Lol no you shouldn't. If you have a destination wedding you should be prepared to have several guests not attend for various reasons, if its THAT important that absolutely everyone should be there then the wedding should be back home. An invitation requires a YES or NO answer, not a financial contract.

by vmedhurst 2 months ago

Not really, but it's common knowledge that many of your guest won't be able to make it to the wedding. It's an invitation, not an obligation.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

The only reason why we did our wedding overseas is really to prevent people from coming. Everyone who did cared about us enough to pay for their own travel

by Psenger 2 months ago

I'm hosting a "pre-wedding trip" in Palm Springs next month (I'm 44 and this is my second marriage so I'm absolutely not using the word bachelor). My guests are responsible for their own plane tickets but I'm covering the cost of the house rental, so it all washes out. The idea of making anyone pay money for anything related to me makes me almost physically ill, so I was fine with the expense.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

I got married in Las Vegas. I didn't expect anyone to travel. They could watch the ceremony on th internet. My brother and his wife, my sister and her husband, and my parents went because they wanted to and could afford it. There were no expectations that people would go and no way we were paying. Saving money was part of why we went.

by Gwalsh 2 months ago

Couldn't disagree more.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

Nah. Destination weddings are a good excuse for a vacation. An invitation is not a summons. The couple should pay for people they absolutely want to attend but cannot afford travel costs.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

I think it is very much "only if you really want to go", people aren't inviting 100 people plus workmates and old school friends like a regular wedding. I'd expect them to cover people like the best man who are more obliged to go. Family probably work something out, many would almost want to pay to help out. It is why destination weddings can literally have 5 people there.

by boehmbrannon 2 months ago

A wedding is for you, anyways, & not your guests. Whether it seems like it or not. It's gonna happen with or without guests, & if ppl wanna be there, they are gonna make it happen.

by antoinette74 2 months ago

Most of them are in Bali where I'm from which is cheaper to get too and stay than it is to holiday inside the country

by baroncartwright 2 months ago

Once again an invitation is not a summons Also what do you mean some of these tickets? Which tickets? Will that not cause further drama

by Open_Programmer_8589 2 months ago

Destination weddings take an already bad thing and make it a thousand times worse. If I go to a wedding, it needs to be within an hour's drive of where I live.

by Anonymous 2 months ago