Having celebraty crush or crush on someone else while in a relationship is not normal, amirite?

It's very normal if we're just talking about the general population. If you have a problem with it that's also valid though, just be upfront about it in relationships. Things are only bad or good in relationships relative to the people in them.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

Considering how many people have celebrity crushes and healthy relationships, I don't think you can claim it's leading to disaster It's not like a celebrity crush she's gonna make you love your partner less

by Anonymous 4 months ago

Cheating is also pretty common but it isn't normal.

by ConfusionImaginary 4 months ago

Tons of people have a very innocent "haha" celebrity crush and don't cheat

by Glum-Fix3259 4 months ago

What's the point though? What's haha about " I have a crush on someone else?"

by ConfusionImaginary 4 months ago

The "haha" part is that it's not that serious. It's not something anyone is actually trying to pursue. It's innocent, like I've said before. Again, where's the middle ground between an innocent crush and an obsession? That's what I don't understand. If thinking someone is cute or hot isn't a crush, then what is?

by Glum-Fix3259 4 months ago

This is insane. If that's all it takes to be considered a crush, then people would be having ton of crushes. Every actor is almost good looking, that doesn't mean your gf is crushing on everyone. She probably only gets excited for one or two actors, and that's the crush. Much more than thinking they are good looking

by ConfusionImaginary 4 months ago

Getting excited to see them on a movie. Every actor is good looking but that doesn't mean your gf would call everyone cute or something

by ConfusionImaginary 4 months ago

Being excited to see someone in a movie is inappropriate? Oh boy.

by kellieledner 4 months ago

Getting excited to see an actor in a movie is inappropriate? That's beyond absurd. Couldn't disagree more Re-read your statement back again. What a terrible take

by Glum-Fix3259 4 months ago

Celebrity crushes simply just mean you find a particular celebrity cute and/or you take a particular liking of them (this can be for various reasons, maybe if they're an artist you really like their music or singing/playing style, or if they're an actor you fan over their performances). Getting excited over celebrities like that is far different than actually being in love with someone you know, or having a personal crush. We do not know these people. If your partner is romantically obsessing over a celebrity then it becomes a legitimate issue, and the parasocial aspect is a serious concern. But beside that it is no different than how someone might feel about a piece of media or a fictional character they really like. Your partner could have various celebrity crushes or fanboy/girl/whatever moments for a singer or an actor and still choose you at the end of the day even if they were magically presented with the option of being with their celebrity crush. And to add on, for sure most celebrities are conventionally attractive- that does not mean every single person will find said celebrity hot or cute. I can recognize many celebrities are attractive in a conventional sense, but there's only a number I'm actually ‘attracted' to. Various people experience the same occurrences.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

Your username and this convo are a pretty damn hilarious combo.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

I think you completely missed the second half of the process. Obviously every relationship has the right to set their own boundaries, but most people don't mind if their partner has a celebrity crush. Many people find it fun to talk about each other celebrity crushes. Most people don't like cheating. See the difference. Sounds like you might just be feeling a bit insecure

by Anonymous 4 months ago

So the general idea here is that what most people agree to. The instant someone does against the majority is considered insecurity. But then if someone did talk to their partner about not being comfortable with the celebrity crush , would their partner calling them insecure be a good Partnership?

by ConfusionImaginary 4 months ago

Did you read what I said. It is 100% ok for one of your boundaries to be not ok with a celebrity crush. Obviously if you differ on this you aren't compatible and yeah it's a deal breaker. Find someone who's opinions on this align with your own

by Anonymous 4 months ago

Y'all make relationships seem like jail

by Anonymous 4 months ago

If not crushing on others is a jail to you, I'm sad about your partner

by ConfusionImaginary 4 months ago

What is a crush doing to you as a partner

by Anonymous 4 months ago

Man stfu

by Anonymous 4 months ago

You stfu too buddy

by ConfusionImaginary 4 months ago

I don't see it mentioned, but crushes generally aren't exactly easily controlled, there is a huge range to this - Do they perk up when they see them on TV? Do they actively look up media of them? Do they jerk off to images or videos? Do they think of them when having sex? There are some significant different stages there. Same as in RL, do they enjoy when someone comes in the office? Do they flirt a little when they see them, or think about it? Do they message them and get into personal conversations? Do they manipulate circumstances to meet with them? Do they actually plan to take it further given the opportunity? A crush is what? Feeling attracted to someone - visually, emotionally, physically? The reason you sound young is because it's not black/white. Sometimes a person appeals and it's up to us to control what we do about it. A crush, is pretty generally a very basic physical attraction and is a natural feeling. What is more important is what we do with it, what we allow it to do to us and what we do that affects other people.

by eankunding 4 months ago

A crush is much more than that. It's not just thinking this person is a good looking perfect. I can think of that about my same gender too but it's not a crush. To get to the level of a crush, your mind does wander a bit.

by ConfusionImaginary 4 months ago

I'm so glad my partner and I can find other people hot without getting weird like this lmao. Celebrated our 10years last week and this sort of thing has never been an issue.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

"I think you are sexy" to a partner > "I think that celebrity is sexy" to your partner.

by ConfusionImaginary 4 months ago

You are looking way to deep into it.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

You gotta be under 18

by Tommie75 4 months ago

Thanks for proving my first point. Being older is also no excuse to have crushes on others. It's literally school kids behaviour

by ConfusionImaginary 4 months ago

I'm mature enough to know that what you're saying is you being insecure but aight.

by Tommie75 4 months ago

Are you sure you are mature because having a celebrity crush seems immature

by ConfusionImaginary 4 months ago

So everything you don't agree with immature? Yeah your definitly a kid

by Tommie75 4 months ago

Bruh read it back. You were the first one to disagree with me and call me immature for it. To think you are calling yourself out. Lol

by ConfusionImaginary 4 months ago

As I said lot of weird people are there. Anyways keep cheating brother

by ConfusionImaginary 4 months ago

4 likes on your opinion by the way, it's not cheating, your just insecure lmao.

by Tommie75 4 months ago

Yikes you are that generation which goes by the likes. Trend follower

by ConfusionImaginary 4 months ago

Again and again buddy, you keep using your age as an excuse for your crushes. And I'm not young for your info. Biology this , biology that. Get a grip on your emotional mind maybe. Maybe focus towards your wife and vice versa

by ConfusionImaginary 4 months ago

Bruh lol. I didn't even say about gender and orientation. It looks like you are the judgemental person here. I get it, your relationship is not as deep you want it to be. So you have to mask it by saying these things are normal. I get it. And for your info, I know there are many wonderful men and women who can love their partners deeply. It's sad your gf is not one of them.

by ConfusionImaginary 4 months ago

Imagine not being allowed to think people are objectivley attractive lmaoo

by Anonymous 4 months ago

Nah, it's normal. I remember feeling this way when I was 22 and lacking relationship experience, and now that I'm in my 30s, I realize I was being immature. People are going to have crushes - it's just natural to be attracted to other people and it's insane to expect someone to only ever be attracted to you. It's how you handle crushes that matter. I have married, monogamous friends who are perfectly capable of discussing that they've had a crush on someone else. If you're in a healthy relationship, this shouldn't be a big deal. Jealousy is a trait that can be worked on - it doesn't have to be a guiding principle. "Hall passes" might cross a line, but it'd again depend on the nature of your relationship.

by Sean02 4 months ago

Now tell me what's the point of them discussing this crush?

by ConfusionImaginary 4 months ago

Do you think a partner saying it's a "you" problem is good? That just shows what you consider a strong relationship is not really strong imo.

by ConfusionImaginary 4 months ago

Lol strength of the relationship when the very strength is broken by you not being able to talk it out and calling your partner's unease as his problem.

by ConfusionImaginary 4 months ago

Lol bruh you just said you would say it's their problem if they are uncomfortable because of it. That's literally what you said. Maybe you are not a great partner

by ConfusionImaginary 4 months ago

This is definitely an unpopular opinion!

by Anonymous 4 months ago

celebrity crush vs crush on someone you know are 2 very different things. nothing is wrong with a celebrity crush as long as its playful and not obsessive

by Anonymous 4 months ago

lol

by Anonymous 4 months ago

Op is young and/or super insecure lmao

by hayesanabel 4 months ago

Or maybe boundaries…? Not everyone are comfortable with their partner lusting and crushing on others 🫶🏻

by Anonymous 4 months ago

Just say you're insecure. We get it.

by Current_Library3594 4 months ago

You are so passionate about hating on cheating but not this. Lol. Looks like you have some crushes you don't want anyone to call out

by ConfusionImaginary 4 months ago

Lol calling someone else hot while not even pity mention of your husband's looks.

by ConfusionImaginary 4 months ago

We get it bro, you're insecure. Maybe try therapy to work on your self esteem because this is pathetic😂

by Current_Library3594 4 months ago

He's not an insecure child, so he's going to be just fine. Good luck out there, dating is going to be awfully rough for you. Poor girls

by Current_Library3594 4 months ago

A celebrity crush is not the same as being in love. It's the same as obsessing over a book, a movie, a painting etc. The celebrities are not real to the person having a crush in the majority of cases. Now if the person is obsessing to the the point of trying get into a sexual or romantic relationship with the celebrity, that's not normal and most people would agree. Other than that, you're just wrong.

by Trick_Degree 4 months ago

Having a crush on someone you know is wrong. But a celebrity crush is 100% innocent and if you have an issue with it, that is just your insecurities

by Different-Flow 4 months ago

How is it innocent. Please elaborate

by ConfusionImaginary 4 months ago

It's innocent because nothing is ever going to happen

by Glum-Fix3259 4 months ago

That's called innocent. What if the husband has a crush on his wife's friend but the friend is in an another country? Is it innocent too? Your logic is bad because it depends on the unavailablility of the crush

by ConfusionImaginary 4 months ago

Yes, it is called innocent. A celebrity crush is innocent Your gf has no chance with Timothee Chalamet. She'd have a way better chance with your friend Brad who's visiting from France It's also easier to have a crush on someone you've never met when they're a celebrity, bc you feel like you know them (via their acting, music, etc.). It'd be a little odd if your wife had a crush on a random dude she'd never met

by Glum-Fix3259 4 months ago

So it's innocent because they can't act on it? Am I reading this right?

by ConfusionImaginary 4 months ago

Is thinking someone is cute really considered a crush though. You wouldn't call yourself having a crush on a male actor because you think he's a good looking guy.

by ConfusionImaginary 4 months ago

Not sure your point then. Are you specifically talking about people who send fan mail to their celebrity crush and have a shrine of them in their room? That'd be strange, yes

by Glum-Fix3259 4 months ago

Come on. So if your gf thinks someone is cute, it's considered a crush??

by ConfusionImaginary 4 months ago

The friend is someone they could personally contact though…

by Anonymous 4 months ago

Also why would anyone have a crush on a friend they've never met? Maybe just based on a couple IG photos? Actors are people we feel like we know a lot better via movies/shows. I'm a dude and I'd be lying if I said that Chalamet didn't give me butterflies as Paul Atradies in Dune

by Glum-Fix3259 4 months ago

Parasocial relationship

by ConfusionImaginary 4 months ago

Reach It's way easier to explain a crush on an attractive actor who's in your favorite movie than it is when it's a friend of your significant others

by Glum-Fix3259 4 months ago

Attraction

by Anonymous 4 months ago

They may go for it

by Anonymous 4 months ago

It's really not innocent though, you're basically saying "given the opportunity I would" but copping out because it's "never going to happen"

by myrticeking 4 months ago

Say it louder for the people in the back 🙌🏻 If you're crushing on somebody else while in a relationship, you're not really in love. Cuz when you're really in love with someone, that person alone should be in the spotlight of your undivided attention and love.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

i think having celebrity crushes are corny relationship or not unless it's saquon barkley

by Turbulent-Pen-4006 4 months ago

I can talk to my partner about having crushes on people cuz we're not insecure or controlling people and understans crushes aren't within anyone's control. Acting upon them is. That's it.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

I think it is all about access. Most people do not have personal access to celebrities, so the likelihood of being able to act on the crush is slim. A person you know, like a coworker or friend of your partner, is different. You may travel in the same social circles or have interactions with them. They are more accessible. The level of access increases temptation and the possibility that a person could act upon said crush.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

See that's the reason I don't like. The celebrity crush is okay only because the uncertainty of meeting the said crush.

by ConfusionImaginary 4 months ago

i gotta say i enjoyed reading your point of view until your food analogy. that was horrendous

by Separate-Bluebird-16 4 months ago

It was stupid and contrived, but to be fair, so is most of what the OP was saying, so I think one bone-headed analogy on my part is fine.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

Food is such a bad example. It's funny to read people disagreeing to not having a crush while in a relationship. Like go talk with your partner about having your emotional needs fulfilled. As far as I can see it's just a cope to not having a good communication skills with your partner.

by ConfusionImaginary 4 months ago

As I said. Lot of people don't have deep relationships. And I can see how these are common in them.

by ConfusionImaginary 4 months ago

As I said. Lot of people don't have deep relationships Yup, you absolutely must be a troll. The condescension and dismissiveness is mind-boggling.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

Yeah I don't think a relationship is all 100% ok if people go lusting and crushing on others. Like it or not, it's a fact that that kind of behaviour is emotional cheating, doesn't matter is it ok or not in whoever's relationship. But I guess that's what this world has come to.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

it being normal is not a matter of opinion because it is normal and it's something i find most people are okay with. but i agree with you that i don't find it okay. honestly, i don't understand how people have crushes on celebrities in general. i've never had one. some people will find it okay because you can't act on it due to it being a celebrity. however i feel that the intent there is what truly matters. i've noticed that partners who are heavily invested emotionally often don't have crushes on others or celebrities because the emotional bond fulfills that space. i don't agree that it's a disaster for a relationship though.

by Separate-Bluebird-16 4 months ago

I definitely agree with the emotionally invested partner part.

by ConfusionImaginary 4 months ago

Eh a celebrity crush is harmless to me, no chance you're likely to meet and seduce them, but a crush on someone you know personally is another story

by Anonymous 4 months ago

As someone married to their high-school sweetheart, I agree with you. When you're madly in love with someone, all other people of that gender sort of become invisible to you. You don't even feel like looking at another man, let alone thinking about them to the point of having an actual crush on them. People who have crush on other people while being in a relationship, aren't that madly in love with their partners for sure. A lot of them are just settling.

by PuzzleheadedDay6422 4 months ago