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Having celebraty crush or crush on someone else while in a relationship is not normal, amirite?
by ConfusionImaginary4 months ago
It's very normal if we're just talking about the general population. If you have a problem with it that's also valid though, just be upfront about it in relationships. Things are only bad or good in relationships relative to the people in them.
by Anonymous4 months ago
Considering how many people have celebrity crushes and healthy relationships, I don't think you can claim it's leading to disaster It's not like a celebrity crush she's gonna make you love your partner less
by Anonymous4 months ago
Cheating is also pretty common but it isn't normal.
by ConfusionImaginary4 months ago
Tons of people have a very innocent "haha" celebrity crush and don't cheat
by Glum-Fix32594 months ago
What's the point though? What's haha about " I have a crush on someone else?"
by ConfusionImaginary4 months ago
The "haha" part is that it's not that serious. It's not something anyone is actually trying to pursue. It's innocent, like I've said before. Again, where's the middle ground between an innocent crush and an obsession? That's what I don't understand. If thinking someone is cute or hot isn't a crush, then what is?
by Glum-Fix32594 months ago
This is insane. If that's all it takes to be considered a crush, then people would be having ton of crushes. Every actor is almost good looking, that doesn't mean your gf is crushing on everyone. She probably only gets excited for one or two actors, and that's the crush. Much more than thinking they are good looking
by ConfusionImaginary4 months ago
Getting excited to see them on a movie. Every actor is good looking but that doesn't mean your gf would call everyone cute or something
by ConfusionImaginary4 months ago
Being excited to see someone in a movie is inappropriate? Oh boy.
by kellieledner4 months ago
Getting excited to see an actor in a movie is inappropriate? That's beyond absurd. Couldn't disagree more Re-read your statement back again. What a terrible take
by Glum-Fix32594 months ago
Celebrity crushes simply just mean you find a particular celebrity cute and/or you take a particular liking of them (this can be for various reasons, maybe if they're an artist you really like their music or singing/playing style, or if they're an actor you fan over their performances). Getting excited over celebrities like that is far different than actually being in love with someone you know, or having a personal crush. We do not know these people. If your partner is romantically obsessing over a celebrity then it becomes a legitimate issue, and the parasocial aspect is a serious concern. But beside that it is no different than how someone might feel about a piece of media or a fictional character they really like. Your partner could have various celebrity crushes or fanboy/girl/whatever moments for a singer or an actor and still choose you at the end of the day even if they were magically presented with the option of being with their celebrity crush. And to add on, for sure most celebrities are conventionally attractive- that does not mean every single person will find said celebrity hot or cute. I can recognize many celebrities are attractive in a conventional sense, but there's only a number I'm actually ‘attracted' to. Various people experience the same occurrences.
by Anonymous4 months ago
Your username and this convo are a pretty damn hilarious combo.
by Anonymous4 months ago
I think you completely missed the second half of the process. Obviously every relationship has the right to set their own boundaries, but most people don't mind if their partner has a celebrity crush. Many people find it fun to talk about each other celebrity crushes. Most people don't like cheating. See the difference. Sounds like you might just be feeling a bit insecure
by Anonymous4 months ago
So the general idea here is that what most people agree to. The instant someone does against the majority is considered insecurity. But then if someone did talk to their partner about not being comfortable with the celebrity crush , would their partner calling them insecure be a good Partnership?
by ConfusionImaginary4 months ago
Did you read what I said. It is 100% ok for one of your boundaries to be not ok with a celebrity crush. Obviously if you differ on this you aren't compatible and yeah it's a deal breaker. Find someone who's opinions on this align with your own
by Anonymous4 months ago
Y'all make relationships seem like jail
by Anonymous4 months ago
If not crushing on others is a jail to you, I'm sad about your partner
by ConfusionImaginary4 months ago
What is a crush doing to you as a partner
by Anonymous4 months ago
Man stfu
by Anonymous4 months ago
You stfu too buddy
by ConfusionImaginary4 months ago
I don't see it mentioned, but crushes generally aren't exactly easily controlled, there is a huge range to this - Do they perk up when they see them on TV? Do they actively look up media of them? Do they jerk off to images or videos? Do they think of them when having sex? There are some significant different stages there. Same as in RL, do they enjoy when someone comes in the office? Do they flirt a little when they see them, or think about it? Do they message them and get into personal conversations? Do they manipulate circumstances to meet with them? Do they actually plan to take it further given the opportunity? A crush is what? Feeling attracted to someone - visually, emotionally, physically? The reason you sound young is because it's not black/white. Sometimes a person appeals and it's up to us to control what we do about it. A crush, is pretty generally a very basic physical attraction and is a natural feeling. What is more important is what we do with it, what we allow it to do to us and what we do that affects other people.
by eankunding4 months ago
A crush is much more than that. It's not just thinking this person is a good looking perfect. I can think of that about my same gender too but it's not a crush. To get to the level of a crush, your mind does wander a bit.
by ConfusionImaginary4 months ago
I'm so glad my partner and I can find other people hot without getting weird like this lmao. Celebrated our 10years last week and this sort of thing has never been an issue.
by Anonymous4 months ago
"I think you are sexy" to a partner > "I think that celebrity is sexy" to your partner.
by ConfusionImaginary4 months ago
You are looking way to deep into it.
by Anonymous4 months ago
You gotta be under 18
by Tommie754 months ago
Thanks for proving my first point. Being older is also no excuse to have crushes on others. It's literally school kids behaviour
by ConfusionImaginary4 months ago
I'm mature enough to know that what you're saying is you being insecure but aight.
by Tommie754 months ago
Are you sure you are mature because having a celebrity crush seems immature
by ConfusionImaginary4 months ago
So everything you don't agree with immature? Yeah your definitly a kid
by Tommie754 months ago
Bruh read it back. You were the first one to disagree with me and call me immature for it. To think you are calling yourself out. Lol
by ConfusionImaginary4 months ago
As I said lot of weird people are there. Anyways keep cheating brother
by ConfusionImaginary4 months ago
4 likes on your opinion by the way, it's not cheating, your just insecure lmao.
by Tommie754 months ago
Yikes you are that generation which goes by the likes. Trend follower
by ConfusionImaginary4 months ago
Again and again buddy, you keep using your age as an excuse for your crushes. And I'm not young for your info. Biology this , biology that. Get a grip on your emotional mind maybe. Maybe focus towards your wife and vice versa
by ConfusionImaginary4 months ago
Bruh lol. I didn't even say about gender and orientation. It looks like you are the judgemental person here. I get it, your relationship is not as deep you want it to be. So you have to mask it by saying these things are normal. I get it. And for your info, I know there are many wonderful men and women who can love their partners deeply. It's sad your gf is not one of them.
by ConfusionImaginary4 months ago
Imagine not being allowed to think people are objectivley attractive lmaoo
by Anonymous4 months ago
Nah, it's normal. I remember feeling this way when I was 22 and lacking relationship experience, and now that I'm in my 30s, I realize I was being immature. People are going to have crushes - it's just natural to be attracted to other people and it's insane to expect someone to only ever be attracted to you. It's how you handle crushes that matter. I have married, monogamous friends who are perfectly capable of discussing that they've had a crush on someone else. If you're in a healthy relationship, this shouldn't be a big deal. Jealousy is a trait that can be worked on - it doesn't have to be a guiding principle. "Hall passes" might cross a line, but it'd again depend on the nature of your relationship.
by Sean024 months ago
Now tell me what's the point of them discussing this crush?
by ConfusionImaginary4 months ago
Do you think a partner saying it's a "you" problem is good? That just shows what you consider a strong relationship is not really strong imo.
by ConfusionImaginary4 months ago
Lol strength of the relationship when the very strength is broken by you not being able to talk it out and calling your partner's unease as his problem.
by ConfusionImaginary4 months ago
Lol bruh you just said you would say it's their problem if they are uncomfortable because of it. That's literally what you said. Maybe you are not a great partner
by ConfusionImaginary4 months ago
This is definitely an unpopular opinion!
by Anonymous4 months ago
celebrity crush vs crush on someone you know are 2 very different things. nothing is wrong with a celebrity crush as long as its playful and not obsessive
by Anonymous4 months ago
lol
by Anonymous4 months ago
Op is young and/or super insecure lmao
by hayesanabel4 months ago
Or maybe boundaries…? Not everyone are comfortable with their partner lusting and crushing on others 🫶🏻
by Anonymous4 months ago
Just say you're insecure. We get it.
by Current_Library35944 months ago
You are so passionate about hating on cheating but not this. Lol. Looks like you have some crushes you don't want anyone to call out
by ConfusionImaginary4 months ago
Lol calling someone else hot while not even pity mention of your husband's looks.
by ConfusionImaginary4 months ago
We get it bro, you're insecure. Maybe try therapy to work on your self esteem because this is pathetic😂
by Current_Library35944 months ago
He's not an insecure child, so he's going to be just fine. Good luck out there, dating is going to be awfully rough for you. Poor girls
by Current_Library35944 months ago
A celebrity crush is not the same as being in love. It's the same as obsessing over a book, a movie, a painting etc. The celebrities are not real to the person having a crush in the majority of cases. Now if the person is obsessing to the the point of trying get into a sexual or romantic relationship with the celebrity, that's not normal and most people would agree. Other than that, you're just wrong.
by Trick_Degree4 months ago
Having a crush on someone you know is wrong. But a celebrity crush is 100% innocent and if you have an issue with it, that is just your insecurities
by Different-Flow4 months ago
How is it innocent. Please elaborate
by ConfusionImaginary4 months ago
It's innocent because nothing is ever going to happen
by Glum-Fix32594 months ago
That's called innocent. What if the husband has a crush on his wife's friend but the friend is in an another country? Is it innocent too? Your logic is bad because it depends on the unavailablility of the crush
by ConfusionImaginary4 months ago
Yes, it is called innocent. A celebrity crush is innocent Your gf has no chance with Timothee Chalamet. She'd have a way better chance with your friend Brad who's visiting from France It's also easier to have a crush on someone you've never met when they're a celebrity, bc you feel like you know them (via their acting, music, etc.). It'd be a little odd if your wife had a crush on a random dude she'd never met
by Glum-Fix32594 months ago
So it's innocent because they can't act on it? Am I reading this right?
by ConfusionImaginary4 months ago
Is thinking someone is cute really considered a crush though. You wouldn't call yourself having a crush on a male actor because you think he's a good looking guy.
by ConfusionImaginary4 months ago
Not sure your point then. Are you specifically talking about people who send fan mail to their celebrity crush and have a shrine of them in their room? That'd be strange, yes
by Glum-Fix32594 months ago
Come on. So if your gf thinks someone is cute, it's considered a crush??
by ConfusionImaginary4 months ago
The friend is someone they could personally contact though…
by Anonymous4 months ago
Also why would anyone have a crush on a friend they've never met? Maybe just based on a couple IG photos? Actors are people we feel like we know a lot better via movies/shows. I'm a dude and I'd be lying if I said that Chalamet didn't give me butterflies as Paul Atradies in Dune
by Glum-Fix32594 months ago
Parasocial relationship
by ConfusionImaginary4 months ago
Reach It's way easier to explain a crush on an attractive actor who's in your favorite movie than it is when it's a friend of your significant others
by Glum-Fix32594 months ago
Attraction
by Anonymous4 months ago
They may go for it
by Anonymous4 months ago
It's really not innocent though, you're basically saying "given the opportunity I would" but copping out because it's "never going to happen"
by myrticeking4 months ago
Say it louder for the people in the back 🙌🏻 If you're crushing on somebody else while in a relationship, you're not really in love. Cuz when you're really in love with someone, that person alone should be in the spotlight of your undivided attention and love.
by Anonymous4 months ago
i think having celebrity crushes are corny relationship or not unless it's saquon barkley
by Turbulent-Pen-40064 months ago
I can talk to my partner about having crushes on people cuz we're not insecure or controlling people and understans crushes aren't within anyone's control. Acting upon them is. That's it.
by Anonymous4 months ago
I think it is all about access. Most people do not have personal access to celebrities, so the likelihood of being able to act on the crush is slim. A person you know, like a coworker or friend of your partner, is different. You may travel in the same social circles or have interactions with them. They are more accessible. The level of access increases temptation and the possibility that a person could act upon said crush.
by Anonymous4 months ago
See that's the reason I don't like. The celebrity crush is okay only because the uncertainty of meeting the said crush.
by ConfusionImaginary4 months ago
i gotta say i enjoyed reading your point of view until your food analogy. that was horrendous
by Separate-Bluebird-164 months ago
It was stupid and contrived, but to be fair, so is most of what the OP was saying, so I think one bone-headed analogy on my part is fine.
by Anonymous4 months ago
Food is such a bad example. It's funny to read people disagreeing to not having a crush while in a relationship. Like go talk with your partner about having your emotional needs fulfilled. As far as I can see it's just a cope to not having a good communication skills with your partner.
by ConfusionImaginary4 months ago
As I said. Lot of people don't have deep relationships. And I can see how these are common in them.
by ConfusionImaginary4 months ago
As I said. Lot of people don't have deep relationships Yup, you absolutely must be a troll. The condescension and dismissiveness is mind-boggling.
by Anonymous4 months ago
Yeah I don't think a relationship is all 100% ok if people go lusting and crushing on others. Like it or not, it's a fact that that kind of behaviour is emotional cheating, doesn't matter is it ok or not in whoever's relationship. But I guess that's what this world has come to.
by Anonymous4 months ago
it being normal is not a matter of opinion because it is normal and it's something i find most people are okay with. but i agree with you that i don't find it okay. honestly, i don't understand how people have crushes on celebrities in general. i've never had one. some people will find it okay because you can't act on it due to it being a celebrity. however i feel that the intent there is what truly matters. i've noticed that partners who are heavily invested emotionally often don't have crushes on others or celebrities because the emotional bond fulfills that space. i don't agree that it's a disaster for a relationship though.
by Separate-Bluebird-164 months ago
I definitely agree with the emotionally invested partner part.
by ConfusionImaginary4 months ago
Eh a celebrity crush is harmless to me, no chance you're likely to meet and seduce them, but a crush on someone you know personally is another story
by Anonymous4 months ago
As someone married to their high-school sweetheart, I agree with you. When you're madly in love with someone, all other people of that gender sort of become invisible to you. You don't even feel like looking at another man, let alone thinking about them to the point of having an actual crush on them. People who have crush on other people while being in a relationship, aren't that madly in love with their partners for sure. A lot of them are just settling.
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