100% and I'm done diminishing myself for other's comfort. If you're an a-hole, I'm gonna tell you, lol.

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

You almost got it

by dan89 2 weeks ago

Holding a grudge is unproductive The fact you 'have a lifetime of examples and I truly regret being the bigger person in most of them.' sure raises some questions

by Bernicejast 2 weeks ago

You don't need to hold a grudge to retaliate immediately or soon after

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

Yup I'm with you here

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

Absolutely agreed. I also think a lot of people don't realize that there are non-violent ways not to be the bigger person so that entitled folks/abusers/etc. get consequences for their behavior. No one needs to "be the bigger person" and get taken advantage of, and good people don't resort to matching energy when doling out boundaries or consequences. there's always: - keeping your distance - cutting off contact - the grey rock method - interventions etc. There are tons of ways to not be the bigger person without having to hold a grudge or stooping to their level.

by GreedyConstant3219 2 weeks ago

The intent isn't to let them off the hook, it's to swallow your pride in the interest of keeping the environment relatively peaceful. Just reasonable restraint. The phrasing of "being the bigger person" might be a bit of needless ego stroking, but it's really just recognizing that the other is a bit less in tune to their behavior and it doesn't really help anyone for you to make a bigger scene over something we can all move on from in a short time. "Being the bigger person" by walking away from a friendship without blasting their various trespasses all over social media solves the problem while preventing pointless pain for all parties, even if you're itching to go on an angry tirade about it.

by MenuAdventurous 2 weeks ago

Exactly

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago